Life lessons from the storm

I was reminded of two important things yesterday.  First, I am stronger than I give myself credit for and second, I may be by myself, but I am not alone.

Precious and Koda stayed with me through the storm!

The original idea behind this blog was to explore my new role as a wife.  But with Chris being gone, it seems I have spent more time proving to myself how much stronger I am than I give myself credit for.  It hit me last night as I huddled in our make-shift  shelter with my my two girls, Precious and Koda.  I am stronger than most people me credit for, stronger than I give myself credit for.  One who knows me would think I would have this lesson learned by now.  I am a survivor.  I have always faced every challenge head on.  Just over two years ago, I faced one of my bigger challenges, I started my life over.  It was my choice but it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done.  It was the right decision for me, I found myself again.  But that is a topic for another blog entry.  Then I met Chris and life was wonderful.

But before I got married, I worried that I would loose myself again. I think many new brides feel that way but no one ever wants to talk about it.  I felt it more strongly because I knew the feelings and had walked away before.  I should never have worried.  Looking over the last 4 months I see that I am stronger than ever.  I have successfully moved to a new place and made some new friends.  I have supported Chris as he has had to travel and tackle a new challenging project.  I have gotten sick and better, basically on my own.  I have made my way in a new job and continued to work towards my end goals educationally.  I have gotten comfortable with a new church family, from which I draw much comfort and strength just knowing they are there.  I have basically adjusted to my new home on all fronts.  I am finding my routine, keeping my sense of self, and continuing to face each challenge with strength and hopefully some grace!


As I gathered supplies for the storm last night I knew I had to be strong.  The dogs were reading my body language and would react however I reacted.  As the winds came and the windows shook, the girls and I huddled in our corner and together we were safe.  We talked (yes, I am one of those crazy people who talks to my pets) and listened to the weatherman and prayed for all of those who were out in the storm.  As the house rumbled and the wind howled I was so afraid.  I wished Chris was home with me, to keep me safe.  But at the same time in a weird way, I was so relieved he was safe, far away and safe.  I kept trying to cover the dogs because I could just hear him teasing me if something were to "happen to his girls"!

When it was finally over, I quietly cleaned up our shelter and inspected the house.  We were so blessed.  We had no major damage.  We have some debris in the yard.  But most of it Koda will have chomped up before I return home from work.  She loves to eat sticks!  The rest, I will pick up and dispose of.  It weighs heavy on my heart to think that so much of that debris used to be someone's dreams and treasures.  My prayers go out to everyone suffering loss today.  My only solace lies in the promise that after each storm there is a rainbow and the sun comes out again.  Recovery might take time, but we will recover.

I have often felt alone since Chris left for Texas.  A new place, a new house, basically a new life can do that to you.  But last night, I received text messages and phone calls from people all over and I know I am not alone.  I may be by myself often, but I am not alone.  People near and far are there if I really need them. I am sure there will still be quiet nights when I feel alone but I will always know that if the alarms are sounded, the troops will ride in.

And now, as promised, the storms have cleared and the sun is shinning.  People are starting to put their lives back together.  I am back at work.  Yes... my work was open with "business as usual" today.  My parents are celebrating their anniversary, my sisters are planning trips, and life is continuing.  I plan to continue blogging and exploring my new role as a wife but also continue exploring myself as a person as I continue to grow.  And in the quiet of this moment, I am taking with me the lessons I was reminded of by the storm and these last four months in general.  Whether we like it or not, it is often what we consider life's hardest moments that we gain the most knowledge and understanding from.

Wow! Time flys!

Wow!  Time sure has flown by this last month!  I am so sorry for not posting!  I promise I will improve.  My blog keeps me sane :-)

So let me back up…for the first two weekends that Chris was gone, I traveled back to Mobile to visit professors and friends.  The first time I went back I told myself it was for work purposes.  I needed to meet with different instructors and professors concerning my progress.  But by the end of the weekend I had had so much fun and it was so nice to be around friends that I had already planned to return the following weekend.

So I returned, I didn't even try to pretend.  I went simply to hang out with some of my favorite people in the world.  I spent the weekend with my best friend Ami and her son, D, who I have all but adopted as my nephew.  He is 4 and can always make me laugh.  We spent Friday afternoon hanging out in the sun of the closing day.  Ami and I caught up while we watched D play with all the dogs.  I brought my girls with me and Ami has a wiener dog named Frank.  I don't know who had more fun... the dogs or D!

Then on Saturday we got up and participated in a walk for charity.  We started in the morning when the weather was nice.  But as the day wore on it grew warmer and warmer.  We walked 5 miles!  I was so proud of us.  We had a blast.  And thankfully refreshments waited for us at the finish line!  By the end the girls, Ami and I were all exhausted!  After dropping the dogs at the house, Ami and I headed for another type of marathon... Shopping!  No one can shop like Ami and I when we get together.  It was great!  I don't know if Chris will be as excited about this kind of exercise. :-)

Sunday morning was filled with Church and catching up with old friends.  Then Ami and I headed to an Arts and Crafts Festival.  It was a blast!  The weather couldn’t have been better.  It was so nice to walk around looking at the talent that fills the world around us.  I have a very limited artistic ability so I love seeing what others can do.  Ami is getting into photography so it was awesome to hunt up good ideas with her.
I headed back to home bright and early Monday morning.  I had an 11:00 meeting that I couldn’t miss.  Let’s just say that Monday turned out to be a very long day!

That week flew by in the midst of work and school.  I went back to working on my research, grading papers, and completing projects for my team.  Then on Wednesday night I had the worst headache!  I thought it was just a migraine, so I went to bed.  I woke several times that night, being hot or cold, or just uncomfortable.  Finally Thursday morning I woke up and found I had a fever… not good!  My mom and grandmother were coming for a visit and Chris was coming home for the first time in 3 weeks!  I did not want to be sick!  But I was.  I tried to call my visitors and warn them but they were all already on the road.  So I spent the weekend, sick as a dog with the flu, but surrounded by those I love the most - my family.

I started to feel better Sunday night… just as Chris was packing up to leave.  But I had a great day with my mom and grandmother on their last day visiting, Monday.  We toured the city and they got to see where I work.  It was sad to see everyone leave but I know they had to go.  The rest of the week I work to try and catch up from being sick and not around.  It always amazes me how far behind I feel when I am not around for a few days.

Right when I thought I was catching up and things were starting to look up I found out there was more excitement in store for me.  Thursday night my plumbing decided to stop working.  Now our house is wonderful.  It is a cute 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom.  Chris has put so much time and love into making it a great house.  He added a laundry room which I got to help finish and our yard is the best!  But in our type of house… everything is connected… everything!  So if the plumbing messes up in one area, you can’t do anything - no laundry, no dishes, no bathroom, no shower, no water!  So I suffered Friday until I got to work.  Then I packed up the girls and we were off to stay with my in-laws until Chris and I could get someone out to see what the problem was.  Chris was very concerned it was our pipes out in our yard.  If those had broken it would cost a pretty penny to get them fixed.  So my in-laws and I met the plumber on Saturday morning, expecting the worst.  But it turned out to just be a clog somewhere deep in the pipes from the shower.  Before you ask… I have no idea what caused this.  

Either way I was thrilled to have my water back!  And then I spent the rest of the day with my in-laws and had a blast!  WE shopped a bit and ran some errands but we really worked on our yard.  My mother-in-law has a way of seeing how things could look in a yard.  And then she just does it!  I love it!  It was so nice to have help.  And it made it more fun to work out there with others to talk to and laugh with.  By the time we were done it was 7 pm!  I couldn’t believe they had spent all day helping me out.  Having family close by has truly turned out to be a blessing.  Sometimes I still feel awkward or like an inconvenience but the more time I spend with them the more comfortable I am.  My mother-in-law and I are getting closer and have even bonded over shopping and venting sessions.  It’s great that we can both vent about our husbands together.  It is all harmless, but it’s nice to find a friend in her.

I spent Sunday going to church and gardening.  I hadn’t been back to Chris and my church since he left.  It was odd going without him.  It was even odder going to our couple’s Sunday school class.  But it all turned out great!  Everyone was so nice and wonderful.  I am actually really looking forward to next week’s class and service.  I am glad Chris and I found a church family before he left.  Now I just have to continue to be committed to it.  The afternoon was filled with gardening, which I find extremely relaxing.  I don’t know why I do… I have the least green thumb ever!  But it is fun to be outside and plan flowers.  I love adding the splashes of color.

On a side note – D has now officially played 2 soccer games and has won them both!  He even played goalie in the second game and stopped some balls!  I am so proud!  I can’t wait to go watch him play.  He is such a joy!

So now we are caught up to this week.  I will fill you in on all of that soon!  Hope all is good with you blogger world!