Twisted

So Friday morning Chris woke with pain in his abdomen.  He thought he had just pulled a muscle or something.  But then when he tried to go to the bathroom he was in extreme pain.  My first thought was kidney stone!  Knowing I only had him in town for 72 hours, I quickly called the doctor to see if we could get an appointment.  Well, our doctor is wonderful and fit us in that morning.

The doctor listened to Chris talk and explain what was going on.  Of course, Chris was not shy about sharing how crazy and over dramatic he thought his wife was for dragging him into the doctor when the systems were so fresh.  The doctor just smiled and listened.  Then he said, "Well, let's appease your wife and at least feel your abdomen."  So Chris laid back and the doctor began feeling around Chris's belly.  And when he touched the left side of Chris's stomach, Chris shot up and flopped around like a fish on the dock.  The doctor, who was grinning now, said, "Huh.  I guess she wasn't so over-dramatic after all!"  I smiled right back at him.  Chris was not a happy camper. 

So the doctor sent us for more tests, just to confirm that it was a kidney stone.  We again were very luck because we were able to get the tests in on the same Friday afternoon.  After the tests were complete, we continued with our day like normal,  but Chris was obviously very uncomfortable, in spite of the pain medication the doc had given him.

Saturday began like normal, except for Chris's continued nagging pain.  We worked in the yard and really scrubbed the house down.  We had been gone for a week and the house needed some basic TLC.  Plus, we were having a couple over for dinner. Working together, we got the house and yard in top shape.  I know it sounds strange, but I actually really like Saturdays like this one.  Chris and I work well together and I love the outcome of our labor.  Then Saturday afternoon, the doctor called.  He said the test for a kidney stone came out negative.  I have to be honest, part of me was disappointed.  At least with a kidney stone, we would know what it was and we could fix it or at least not be in the dark about it.  Now, we had no clue what was causing Chris so much pain.  The doctor told us to monitor it and monitor Chris's bathroom visits as well and he would follow up with us the next day.

Sunday we went to church, which was wonderful!  I think I liked Sunday the best because it was the first time that things started to feel normal for Chris and I.  It wasn't like he was just visiting.  I woke up and he was still there.  Plus, I love our church.  I love our Sunday School class and in church they did this singing tribute to old VBS songs so we got to sing all the old classics like "This Little Light of Mine" and "The B-I-B-L-E".  It was a blast.  But Chris's condition did not improve.  It didn't get worse but it didn't improve.  He was still going #2 but  not as regular as normal and it still hurt to go #1.  So we talked to the doctor and he said we might have to delay Chris's flight back to TX.  So Chris called his boss, who is also a great guy.  He said to delay the flight and get this mystery solved.  Chris moved his flight to Wednesday morning and told the doctor that he had 2 days to get this figured out.

Chris was in the doctors office Monday morning at 8 am.  The doctor did another couple of exams.  Chris called later and said he felt violated and suddenly understood all the jokes the comedians always tell about a man seeing the doctor.  Chris then went for a CT.  When that was complete, the doctor put him on a liquid diet and told him he would call as soon as the results were in.  Through this whole process, Chris was most upset about the liquid diet.  He was hungry and ready for lunch and all he got was a smoothie.

Now, I tried to be a good wife and do the liquid diet with him.  But anyone who knows my eating habits knows I don't really eat breakfast that often.  I drink a cup of coffee and then have a healthy lunch around 11 or 12.  I don't know why and I know it's not that healthy of a practice but that is how I am.  So anyway... I didn't last very long on Chris's liquid diet.  In fact, I buckled after only a few hours.  I  know... I'm aweful!

Now throughout Sunday and Monday - basically since we figured out it wasn't kidney stones, my worrier has been working in overdrive.  I, of course, think of every worst case scenario.  My mind flies to colon cancer and other scary diseases that can all be found on web MD.  My mind is already coming up with EAPs for all these different scenarios.  God and I talk about it a lot.  Chris on the other hand is napping and whining about his liquid diet.  I worry that the liquid diet would be the easiest part of this situation.

So Monday night the doctor called back and said he had figured out what was wrong with Chris.  He said that Chris's colon looks great as far as colons go.  He said he does have some extra fat in his liver so we are going to have to get back into working out.  But overall, he said Chris's insides were very healthy looking.  But the pain was coming from outside the colon.  Apparently, we all have these fatty pieces that look like fingers the wrap our colons.  Some peoples fatty finger things are big and some peoples are small, there is no rhyme or reason.  Maybe they protect the colon... I am not really sure.  Anyway, one of Chris's fatty finger things has gotten twisted and is irritated and is now bothering the colon and urinary tract.  The doctor said it is basically a freak accident and that Chris did nothing wrong, there was no way we could have prevented it.  It just happens every once in a while to people.  So the doc made an appointment with a surgeon to figure out what the next step was.

I feel much better and actually laugh with relief.  My husband's fat is twisted!  I am a little concerned about meeting with a surgeon but I know we are in good hands.  It is getting harder for Chris to sit still and rest.  He is itching to get back to work. 

Our appointment to see this surgeon is for 3:30 in the afternoon.  We get there around 3 - 3:15.  We get called back to see a different surgeon in the same practice at almost 6 pm.  Apparently the surgeon we were supposed to see was so far behind his partner was helping him out.  Thank goodness!  Who knows how long we would be waiting on the original surgeon.  The surgeon we did see was really nice and he talked really fast.  I don't think he would have even given Chris a physical exam if I hadn't been sitting there.  He read Chris's chart and felt around on his belly on the left and then told us that he felt it was best for us to play the waiting game.  He said that the fat would either be cut off from the blood supply due to the twist for long enough that it would eventually die, in 6-8 days.  Or the fat would naturally untwist.  Now if Chris didn't improve, then we could come back and he would have another look.  The answers were fine and I was cool with the plan.  But really, we waited for 3 hours for a 5-7 min. appointment that really could have been sent via email or heck.... he really could have tweeted or facebooked us the short answer.  Relief for the simplicity of the situation washed over us as we left the office.  We had talked to all the professionals and had a game plan in place and in the end... it was really just twisted fat!

After we left the surgeons office, we were hungry.  We went to one of our favorite little restaurants.  Chris was extremely ready to be back in TX "pulling his weight".  I, on the other hand, was exhausted.  I made the mistake of taking this opportunity at the restaurant to tell Chris that I was feeling clingy.  That I didn't want him to go back to Texas.  I wanted him to stay with me.  I tried to apologize for my clingy-ness.  He took it as an opportunity to point out that I had been clingy and it was annoying him.  He said that he thinks the time apart is ok and that even when he comes home, if it is more logical for us to divide and conquer something than that is what we should do.  He feels that just because he is home, doesn't mean we have to spend every moment together.  Wow.  I was crushed!  I fought off the tears.  I know my exhaustion from worry played into it.  But also, here I had been trying all weekend to take care of him and watch out for him and I came off as clingy.  I told him that I respected his feelings but I felt the two weeks we were apart were enough and that I wanted to spend all of the 72 hours he was home together.  But that I would work on not being "clingy".

That night Chris and I cuddled and he was super sweet.  I know he hadn't meant to hurt me.  He doesn't think emotionally, only logically.  The problem is, I'm still crazy about him.  I know I need him in a way he doesn't need me - emotionally.  I need so much more than what money can buy.  I think often that I need those things more than the other things.  I love that Chris supports me and takes care of me and my basics - food, cloths, shelter, anything I want I can basically buy or we save up and I get.  He is a wonderful provider.  But this hit hurt and reached a different part, my emotional need.

So as I laid there in bed and tried to sleep my head filled with his words.  I don't know how to act, what is ok and what is clingy.  To be honest blogger friends... I prayed that I wouldn't be clingy, that I wouldn't need him emotionally as much.  I honestly don't know why I do.  But it's something that I will definately work on.

I took Chris to the airport bright and early the next morning.  He was so excited to be leaving.  My heart hurt.  We had just spent a wonderful vacation in San Antonio and now this blow... clingy.  I've never really thought about myself that way.  But his word will haunt me for a while.  I know my brain will replay them and try to dissect them repeatedly.  I will end up reliving the weekend and analyzing my behavior.  Yes, that dinner conversation will haunt me.  So now we  begin our time apart; him in Texas and me here; Him with twisted fat and a nagging pain and me with a twisted heart and a nagging pain.